Blessings Soul Family!

We came together during Oracle Talks to have a community discussion centered on sharing tools for navigating grief. Obviously, this is something we must all contend with at various times throughout our lives, but this current pandemic has definitely increased our experience of it. Below is a compilation of what was shared…..

First things first - therapy is a non-negotiable and is to be one of the first things to get set up so that you have a container of consistent support. With the pandemic and political unrest, a flurry of directories and online offerings have amplified to meet the need. Here are a few places to look for finding a therapist, particularly for BIPOC folks, in the U.S. and the UK ~

Open Path (low-cost/at scale pricing for sessions $30-$80, with a one time $59 sign up fee):

https://openpathcollective.org/

Frontline Therapy (UK community - similar to Open Path):

https://frontlinetherapist.com/

Black and Asian Therapy Network (UK community):

https://www.baatn.org.uk/

Therapy for Black Girls:

https://www.therapyforblackgirls.com

Melanin & Mental Health:

https://www.melaninandmentalhealth.com

Inclusive Therapists (LGBTQ+ affirming):

https://www.inclusivetherapists.com

There are also frequent free, donation-based, or very low-cost small group offerings and workshops that therapists and social workers and other lightworkers advertise regularly on Instagram. I share those often in my stories. Follow me @innersunalchemy to be kept abreast of those accounts.

Second - set aside time for purposeful mourning. If you can, 30 minutes to 1 hour per day (at least) of letting yourself cry and offload all that's weighing on your heart and mind. Go sit in your closet, scream into a pillow, go sit in your car with the windows rolled up and wail….whatever you must do. Make sure to cover your head while you do this for comfort and protection. This intentional grieving helps you to accept and work with your emotions while also engaging your body in the process (no disassociate here!). This is to be a daily practice in the early stages of grief and the emotional volatility.

Third - Work with your ancestors. If you're in a situation where you know death is coming, then spend time with your beneficial ancestors. Ask them to help you in the process AND to support the safe transition of your loved one(s). Note: you may find that the beneficial ancestors start making contact with the loved one as the time nears; affirm your family when they tell you an ancestor has presented. Check out this IG post for how to set up an ancestral altar HERE.

Fourth - Light a white candle when a loved one passes and keep that on the ancestral altar. If there are multiple deaths, then have a small candle (even a simple tea light) for each person.

Fifth - some ways to help you after the initial stage of shock & loss...

Morning rituals
Writing a letter to the loved one
Create music
Lean on the arts
Do what you used to love doing with the one who has passed
Singing hymns and dancing
Spend time with their belongings until the download comes to wash or remove these
Baths with goat milk or shower with goat milk soap to calm the emotions and energy body
Grief Journal with writing prompts on Etsy HERE.
If you choose to work with a medium, wait some time before trying to connect to the loved one who has passed. Different cultures have different protocols for timing of life review, etc. A good medium will also be able to provide guidance on when is appropriate.

Sixth - ways to support others who have lost a loved one include focusing on the little things such as groceries, walking dogs, picking up mail, homemade food deliveries, house cleaning services, etc. Know the love languages of those you're trying to support so they can receive what you're giving.

Seventh - for general perspective shifts around death and preparing for end of life (practical consideration such as wills, etc), check out the courses, workshops, training, and writing of Alua Arthur (death doula, @going_with_grace on Instagram) at her website https://goingwithgrace.com/

Finally - a download I received as it relates to the amount of time one should take at a minimum for the grieving process is 6 months per individual being grieved however, this is increased to 1 to 3 years for a parent, child, sibling, or marriage partner as these are the closest relations. Again, this is the bare minimum for your intentional grieving work. The one year anniversaries of birthdays, holidays, etc are going to be especially hard. Plan ahead to carve out time around those dates so that you can bear the fresh grief.

I also had a chance to have an intimate conversation with fellow lightworker Onyi about grief and the mother/daughter relationship on Instagram as well. We shared similar experiences, pains, daughter wounds, and received insights. One of the most powerful and heartfelt conversations I've had (grab your tissue). Watch the conversation HERE.

Grief takes time. Folks may become uncomfortable if it takes ‘longer’ than they expect or like. Do the grief journey on your own terms though. We are forever changed by the loss of a loved one. There's no going back to normal… we simply learn how to live in a new way. Just like our "shadow", grief is an ally when respected.

Please share these resources and tips with everyone - we all need it. We'll continue the conversation as Spirit guides in future Oracle Talks.

Remember - we have the power to create the containers we need. Take agency in your grief journey.

Be well, cry your tears, and rest up.

My love,

Jynnette the Oracle

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